S3, Ep 10, Sc 6: The Window

As Holly and Peter sat on the bench their shadows, cast from the window behind them, had grown long, stretching out across the porch into the lawn.

“I think it’s wonderful that you’re trying something new,” she said. She watched their shadows a little longer. He seemed content not to say anything. “Peter could I ask you a question?”

“Of course. You can always ask me anything.”

“Why did you become an actor?”

He looked surprised at the question but answered, “I started trying out for auditions when I was seventeen. I thought it would be fun. I was interested in it.”

“What did your parents say?”

“They were supportive. They divorced when I was ten, after which point my father would agree with anything I wanted. And my mother…well she’s always been a little different. She’s loves talking about the New Age ‘movement’ even though I’m not sure she knows what it is. She hangs crystals about the house and dream catchers and waves Buddhist incense. Her beliefs are little conflicting but she either doesn’t notice or she doesn’t care. So she was fine with the auditions too.”

“Are you close?”

“No. My mother calls up sometimes but I haven’t seen my dad in three years. He remarried four years ago and he’s got a daughter now. I suppose she’d be about two and half now? The whole murder trial pretty much broke an already strained relationship between the three of us.”

“I see.”

He shifted slightly to study her more closely. “Why do you ask?”

Holly shrugged. “I guess I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. My sister, Della, she was the one you know. She wanted to be the actress.”

“What happened to her?”

“There was a drunk driver. She hadn’t even been in LA a year. Everything I’ve accomplished so far? It would have made her ecstatic if it had happened to her.”

“And what has it made you?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know right now. The truth is a large part of why I decided to follow her to LA was because I thought it would be a way to stay close even when she was gone. But I’ve been wondering lately if maybe that’s not a good reason to do something. Although I don’t know what a good reason is. After all I thought I had a good reason to get engaged. I thought love was the right reason. But look at who I loved? How could I have…what does it say about me Peter? I’m told it doesn’t say anything but it must. Doesn’t the people you chose to love say something about who you are yourself?” She looked at him and then blinked, startled, as if she had almost forgotten who she was talking to. “I’m sorry. You’re the last person who wants to hear all this-”

“No. I want to hear it. Look I’m probably the last person who should be giving any kind of relationship advice. I fell for Layla, what does that say about me? And my love advice all came from my mother. But she always told me if you really loved someone you had to jump through a window.”

Holly stared at him and an involuntary laugh burst out. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-, a window?”

Peter smiled. “It made sense in context. I think. And I’m not sure my mother is the best person to take any kind of advice from either. But her point was that at some point, you have to make that commitment, you have to go all in. Whatever that window is in your situation, be it moving countries, quitting jobs, defying parents, sometimes just plain old getting over your issues or moving cities.”

She glanced up at the last one and frowned at the expression on his face. He noticed her attention and shrugged.

“As I said, there was a lot of thinking in Ireland. And one of things I thought about was what if I hadn’t fought Layla on the idea of moving to New York. I jumped through so many windows for her, but that one…I just refused. And what if I hadn’t? We wouldn’t have fought. I wouldn’t have taken the stairs that next evening; I might have come home in time to save her. Or maybe she would have told me about the baby, we could have talked, perhaps I never would have left her alone at all that day. Maybe if I had just done that one last thing for her…or maybe there was already too much history. I don’t know. And you can only ask ‘what if’ so many times without feeling like you’ll go crazy.”

“What happened to Layla wasn’t your fault.”

“I know. But I did give up on her.”

“After everything she did to you, who could blame you?”

Peter sighed. “I guess the sum of it all is the very obvious point that love is complicated. And you’ll never know who someone really is. But you can’t really love without trust. Because at some point you either have to choose whether or not you’re going to put your faith in someone even if you’ll never really know, beyond any doubt exactly what goes on in their head. You trusted Alan, and he wasn’t what you thought. And I am sorry that you had to go through that because I know how hard it is to trust someone enough to love them after you’ve been burnt once. But you’ve got trust or else you’ll never really love anyone. And loving someone again is absolutely worth it.”

“Even if it doesn’t even work out the second time?”

“Even then.” He smiled at her. “Now, I’m starving. How about dinner? I’m a terrible cook but even I can manage pancakes.”

Holly laughed. “Sounds good.”

They stood up and went inside.

This entry was posted in Episode Ten, Holly Woods, Peter Glades, Season Three. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to S3, Ep 10, Sc 6: The Window

  1. schn00dles says:

    whew! They finally had their talk.

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